Our Story

My name is Nick White. I attended Weston High School for three years of high school. 

During my sophomore year of high school, I attended a boarding school in Connecticut. The reason I am writing this today is due to an eating disorder that I developed during the spring of my sophomore year in Connecticut, which was later diagnosed as "Anorexia Nervosa". This serious disorder took control of my mind and body as I had never imagined possible. It began as a "healthy" outlook on my athletic career; one to get in shape for my lacrosse season by training hard and following strict nutritional guidelines that I had developed for myself. 

After that year, I can say one thing for certain: I wish I or one of my coaches, teachers, or peers suggested I seek help sooner than I did. During this period, I lost twenty pounds (from an already slim frame), my quick wit, and every ounce of energy I had committed to academics and athletics. At the end of my sophomore year, I traveled back to my small town in Massachusetts and planned on continuing my strictly governed days that I had made routine in Connecticut. Although, my mom thankfully had other plans.

It was June 2nd, the day of Ben's high school graduation. In the morning, my mom brought me to an outpatient eating disorder treatment program to begin my road back to becoming a healthy and loving individual. When my vitals were taken, I was found to have a dangerously low heart rate: clocked at around 28 beats per minute and falling to below that while I slept (officially diagnosed as Bradycardia).

I was rushed to Boston Children's Hospital where I was set for a long stay. It was at this point that I realized I had a real issue; I was a couple of days from a tragic ending to my life, yet still worried about what I was going to have for lunch and the calories it would possess. I can say with confidence that this day was the scariest and most confusing of my life.

I missed Ben's graduation that night and began my extended stay in the hospital. For 9 days and nights, I laid in a hospital bed in the psychiatric unit of Boston Children's Hospital, only allowed to stand up to use the bathroom. I was woken up multiple times in the dead of night to have bloodwork done and my vital signs checked. After my heart rate rose above a threshold at night, I was discharged. That summer, I initiated a transfer back to Weston High School and started my road to recovery. I spent every day of July and August in an outpatient treatment program re-learning how to normalize my eating, exercise, and life.

I am thankful for the love and support I was surrounded with from my family, the doctors and nurses at Boston Children's Hospital, and the team at Walden Behavioral Care during this time.

The reason my brother and I began this website is to compile information and begin a conversation surrounding the serious risks and warning signs of eating disorders in young adults, specifically males athletes. We hope that an athletic director, coach, and/or teammate is able to use our story and information to save a life.

My name is Ben White. I attended Weston High School for all four years of high school, one of them with Nick. 

I learned first-hand of the devastating impact that eating disorders can have on young student athletes during my senior year of high school. Nick, a sophomore at the time, decided to transfer from Weston High School to a boarding school in Connecticut. At the time, I was bummed because I was looking forward to spending my last year of high school with him. Regardless, I supported him, as he believed the transfer was the best decision for his future. Admittedly, Nick and I did not speak frequently throughout the year, as I was preoccupied with the various activities and traditions that accompany senior year of high school. That being said, every time my parents or I spoke with Nick, he seemed to be doing fine. 

It was not until he returned home at the end of the school year that I noticed something was wrong. Not only had he lost a significant amount of weight, but he also lacked the charisma and energy that everyone who knew Nick had grown to associate him with. Luckily, my family identified Nick's problem quickly, and he was able to get help just in time. 

What happened next is not my story to tell, so I will let Nick do so. Notwithstanding, I will never forget the bone-chilling call I received from my mom just hours before I was set to walk across the stage to graduate high school.

Because I grew up with Nick, it was easy to identify his downward progression. It was abundantly clear he needed help. This made me wonder: How did no one else notice he was struggling and why did they fail to intervene? It seemed that neither his coaches, teachers, or peers offered him any assistance, nor did they express any concern for his tribulations. 

Perhaps naïvely, I believe that the lack of intervention was not an act of callous apathy, but rather a harmless case of ignorance surrounding the issue of eating disorders in males. This is because eating disorders are often exclusively associated with females. Of course, this is a complete misnomer: eating disorders affect an incalculable number of young males all over the world, regardless of individual severity.

Nick is my only little brother. As such, I try to protect him when needed while also pushing him to be his best self. This responsibility involves leading by example and being a good role model. However, it is Nick that has served as an inspiration to me over the past couple of years. I am sure that the days, months, and, now years following Nick's struggle have not been easy. An eating disorder is not something that disappears overnight but instead is a constant internal battle. Because of this, Nick's perseverance through recovery has been inspirational not only to me but also to everyone that is lucky enough to call Nick a friend. 

We want to share Nick’s story on a larger platform to help others identify the warning signs of an eating disorder early, so they do not have to go through the same hardships Nick did. Our goal is to educate coaches and athletic directors, but more importantly, let young male athletes know that they are not alone in their struggles.